I’M HEALTHY AGAIN!!!!!
I’m pretty sure. Just had a follow-up appointment with my doc last week and she is pretty sure that I actually had NOROVIROS. (It’s all the rage at all the schools around here right now.)
No point in running tests because if that’s right, it’s gone now. So we’ll just see if I have a relapse 😉
But I FEEL normal. My crazy swollen lymph nodes have all totally disappeared. My weird nagging nonsensical symptoms have evaporated.
So I am CELEBRATING by breaking my new year’s goal (mini reminder: it was to avoid setting crazy goals and challenges for myself and just enjoy the freaking moment and live my life) and I’m setting a spring/summer running challenge.
A quick update on my new year’s goal slash ramble about mental health: in many ways that goal was exactly what I needed. I was feeling extreme anxiety at the time and having so many unrealistic expectations for myself just made me even more anxious because I felt like a total failure for not being able to meet said unrealistic expectations. TALK about fueling my anxiety.
Focusing on living in the present was hugely helpful.
BUT. Setting goals and challenges did not GIVE me anxiety. It gave me something to channel my anxiety toward.
I felt just as severe anxiety without challenges. My anxiety just felt a little more… petty, I guess, because it focused instead on things that don’t matter as much to me. Tiny annoyances at work became week-shattering events. A mystery illness became all-consuming panic and hypochondria. I still found failure everywhere I looked, except now without the excuse that I had set all these lofty goals for myself that I didn’t have to set. It was just my life I was failing at.
So…. while it was really nice to get rid of the challenges and goals when I wasn’t consumed by anxiety (when I thought clearly and actually enjoyed the moment), it also had a negative side.
And you know what else? A lot of my challenges were health-focused, which was fantastic!
So I’ve decided to let myself set challenges again. Only to focus on things that are good for my mind and/or body. And only a little at a time.
Naturally, I’m starting with a running challenge. I think the BEST challenges I’ve set for myself, as far as my mental health is concerned, have been my short-prepped half marathons.
And I have just been CRAVING running lately. Partly because I haven’t been able to do much physically while I was sick. But mostly because my appreciation for the mental benefits of running only grows.
Even better, I decided to make this a REALLY flexible challenge.
In the next sixty days, I am going to run 75 miles.
I don’t care how often I run, how long my runs are, how many days in a row I skip. Just 75 miles in 60 days. (I calculated my goal at 2.5 miles every other day.)
I haven’t been running much lately, so it will take a bit of time to get my running ability back. But if there’s anything my last half marathon challenges have taught me, I know I can do it! I’m HOPING this looks like: a short one or two runs during the week, and a longer run on the weekends.
But I’m sure as hell not holding myself to that 😉
Do you set challenges or little goals for yourself? What’s your latest challenge?